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9 Tips to Fast-Forward Your Fears and Live Your Dreams

via Stepcase Lifehack by Tess Marshall on 5/22/12

When you don’t take action to live your dreams, someone somewhere else in the world will.

Take the risk. Put in the practice. Be willing to pay the price. Get it done no matter what it takes or how long it takes. You are responsible for the results you get. There is no time for excuses.

The following tips can help you on the path to live your dreams.

1. Fear is no excuse; we’re all afraid.

It’s part of being human. It’s what you do in spite of your fear that matters. Look your fear in the eye. Tell it to back down. You have work to do, people to see, and connections to make.

2. Make a choice

We make hundreds of choices every day. Become aware of the choices you make and the consequences of your choices. Choose to get up an hour early. Choose to use your gifts and talents. Choose to go the extra mile. Choose to ask for help. Choose to leave your mark on the world. It’s all about choices.

3. Talk to yourself

Use encouraging words. I’m 58 years old. Saturday night I ran a five mile road race for charity. It was 93 degrees and we ran on the black pavement at 8 p.m. There were no water stations. I used the mantra, “I am a fighter.” I talked myself across the finish line. Why did I do it? Because I could!

4. Minimize your number of regrets

Do what you need to do today to live your dreams. Don’t hesitate, delay, or isolate. Apologize, take the high road, and accept responsibility for all that you do and all that you don’t do. Life is messy. So what! Learn from your mistakes and move on.

5. Don’t be afraid of hard work

Be willing to do what it takes. Put in the hours. Network. Become an expert. Don’t back down and don’t give in. Dream big! Sometimes life will demand that you crawl one more inch and sometimes life will allow you to soar. Continue to advance forward. Enjoy it all.

6. Live the part

What does success feel like? Get into the feeling. What does success smell like? Wear the perfume. What does success look like? Dress the part. Go where successful people go and do what successful people do.

7. Kick down the doors

When things go wrong, get back up. When doors don’t open, kick them down. When there’s a detour, climb a fence. When somebody tells you, “no”, ask again. Keep going back and keep moving forward until you get what you want. Each “no” is a step closer to a “yes”.

8. Make yourself stand out

Tell the truth. Keep your promises. Make others aware of your strengths. Be persistent. Be yourself. Listen to your heart. Follow your dreams with integrity and love.

9. Share your gifts

Do it in small and big ways. Help, server, and surprise others. Yesterday, my husband went into the gas station for a few minutes as I waited in the car. I noticed a man standing on the sidewalk. He was old, worn, and was missing an arm. His other arm didn’t look very good either. I phoned my husband and asked him to pick up a bottled water and a sandwich. I asked him to give it to the guy on the sidewalk when he came out. The man smiled, accepted it, and walked away. It’s that simple. Are you willing to share your time, talent, wisdom, or money today?

We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, so we need to create and live our dreams today!

(Photo credit: Businessman in cloud via Shutterstock)

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Tess Marshall of The Bold Life has a master's degree in counseling psychology and has recently released a new course, "Take Your Fear and Shove It!". Download her free ebook, "How to Be Bold."

8 Things Great Bosses Demand from Employees

via Inc.com by Geoffrey James on 4/30/12

When your team asks you want you want, here's what you tell them.

My recent column, 8 Core Beliefs of Extraordinary Bosses, drew a flood of responses. But there's one thing I didn't mention: An extraordinary boss communicates his expectations clearly to his team. That way, everyone understands what it will take to make your company succeed.

With that in mind: If you are the boss, you'll want to share this column with your team, because it will make your job a heck of a lot easier. And if by chance you're not the boss, memorize this column–because it contains the key to long-term success.

Here are the rules for keeping your boss happy:

1. Be true to your word.

Your boss wants to trust you. Really. Therefore, whenever you accept an assignment, follow through religiously, even fanatically. Do what you say you're going to do. Never overcommit, and avoid hedging your bets with vague statements like "I'll try" and "maybe." Instead, make your word carry real weight.

2. No surprises, ever.

The secret fear of every boss is that employees are screwing up but are not saying anything about it. So even if you're afraid some bad news might upset your boss, make sure he's informed. Note: If your boss consistently "shoots the messenger," you can ignore this rule–because his behavior shows he doesn't really want to be in the know.

3. Be prepared on the details.

Your boss wants to believe you're competent and on top of things. That's why she sometimes picks an aspect of your job and begins randomly asking penetrating questions. Therefore, whenever you're meeting with the boss, have the details ready so you can answer these queries with grace and aplomb.

4. Take your job seriously.

Bosses appreciate individuals who truly care about what they do and willing to take the time to achieve a deep understanding of their craft. Bosses need people who have unique expertise. You don't have to be a pro at everything, but you should definitely have a specific area of knowledge that your boss values.

5. Have your boss's back.

When you see your boss about to make a foolish decision, it's your responsibility to attempt to convince him to make a different one. Make your best case, and express yourself clearly. However, once the decision is actually made, do your best to make it work–regardless of whether you think it was the right one.

6. Provide solutions, not complaints.

Complainers are the bane of your boss's existence. Nothing is more irritating or more boring than listening to somebody kvetch about things that they're not willing to change. So never bring up a problem unless you've got a solution to propose–or are willing to take the advice the boss gives you.

7. Communicate in plain language.

Bosses are busy people and have neither the time nor the inclination to wade through piles of biz-blab, jargon and weasel words. When dealing with your boss, speak and write in short sentences, use the fewest words possible to make a point, and make that point clear and easily understandable.

8. Know your real job.

Regardless of what it says on your job description, your real job is to make your boss successful. There are no exceptions to this rule. None.

And, by the way: Your boss's real job is to make you more successful. The reversal of these priorities is the source of almost all organizational problems.

Like this post? If so, sign up for the free Sales Source newsletter.

Why Most People Fail at Change (& How to be Successful)

via The Change Blog by R.C. Thornton on 4/26/12

Photo by pnoeric

By R.C. Thornton

Let’s say you want to become more productive.

You Google “productivity tips”, and 46 million links appear. Click on a couple, and you notice most of them are lists of information, usually bullet-points like “use an organizer”, “keep your desk clean”, or “don’t take ‘Facebook breaks’ while you’re working!”.

So you try to use an organizer, keep your desk clean, and decide not to look at Facebook once every 2.8 minutes.

Do you know what happens next? It’s what happens to most people. You slowly forget…forget that you wanted to be more productive, and that you made these little promises to yourself about using an organizer.

And you’re back to where you started, except this time, you probably think you “can’t” become more productive.

Isn’t that what usually happens?

Why is that what usually happens?

People fail at change because of the way they try to change.

People simply misunderstand their actual problem. In the example above, it looks like the problem is that you just don’t “know” how to be productive.

Don’t know how to be productive? You didn’t know that using an organizer or actually cleaning your desk would increase productivity?

Of course you knew these things. And if you look up “productivity tips” on Google, you realize most of the pages are just that: telling you things you already knew.

If reading productivity tips was really the way to become productive, we’d all be pros at it about 4 articles into the 46 million on Google. But we’re not.

The actual problem is more sophisticated: you know how to be productive, but you don’t know how to make yourself do it.

But the answer to that is actually pretty easy:

The first step to changing what you do is to change the way you think. You do what you think. Your mindset inspires your actions!

In the past, you never tried to change the way you think: you tried to keep your old habits and ideas (laziness), and insert incompatible actions (trying to be productive)on top. Of course that’s not going to work.

But if you first thought, “wait a second, why is it that I have so much trouble using an organizer?”, you realize things like: “I get this emotional feeling that tells me it’s ‘too much trouble” or “it’s not any fun!”.

If you thought “organization is too important to pass up”, or “no matter what, I will be productive”, wouldn’t you naturally do the things needed to be productive?

So clearly, the right way to focus on change is to focus on your mindset before you focus on your specific action.

So how do you change your mindset?

The short answer: “The Top 3 Mindset Traits Required to Succeed at Anything” + mindset traits needed for your specific field + PRACTICE.

The Top 3 Mindset Traits Required to Succeed at Anything:

I picked these because they have been pervasive through all of the ventures I have been successful at:

1. Disinterested perspective. Not feeling like you “have” to be right about something, and being willing to jettison closely-held assumptions. You find it fun to be wrong because you learned something new.
2. Valuing success over comfortable failure.
3. Persistence; prioritizing long-term gain over short-term pain.

How you decide “these things are more valuable than thinking I’m right all of the time or laziness” is a personal decision. For me, I am inspired to write, start businesses, host a radio show, etc., because I want to spend my time only doing interesting things that I want to do, rather than have things forced upon me. Maybe for you, it’s the same; maybe it’s wanting to make more money so you can provide a better life for your family.

Mindset traits needed for your specific field.

For example: If my goal was to give a great speech, I could identify 3 specific mindsets necessary for giving a speech. I really think you could give a great speech (with practice) thinking about only these three things. Notice how they are different from “tips” that try to direct your actions:

1. Say only words that are value-added.
2. Think of speeches I’ve watched that were exceptional, and attempt to emulate them.
3. When my audience leaves, what are the 3 main points I want them to remember?

That would answer these questions that most people would try to use “tips” to solve:

1. Q: How long should my speech be?

a. A: Think about speeches you’ve watched by other great orators who have spoken on your topic. How long do they talk? What points do they emphasize?

2. Q: What should I talk about?

a. A: What are the three most important points you could make? What do I really want my audience to know when I get down from the podium?

3. Q: Should I include this example in my speech?

a. Does it add value to your speech? In other words, is your speech notably better because you included it?

PRACTICE = allow your mindset to become habit and overcome discomfort.

When I ran cross country in high school, I couldn’t run more than a mile at first. A couple months later, I could run 6 miles without stopping.

My original habit and mindset was to be lethargic and not exercise. Then, I changed my mindset to value persistence and athleticism. By practicing running, I not only got better at running, I also made it easy to develop and engrain my pro-running mindset.

Isn’t that really the same for everything? For anything you would want to do?

Conclusion

Success is a result of mindset, which naturally leads to the proper actions. Doing it the other way around leads to the all-too-common conclusion of failure, usually due to resignation (just giving up).

Luckily, our minds are one of the easiest things to change.

Why Most People Fail at Change (& How to be Successful)

via The Change Blog by R.C. Thornton on 4/26/12

Photo by pnoeric

By R.C. Thornton

Let’s say you want to become more productive.

You Google “productivity tips”, and 46 million links appear. Click on a couple, and you notice most of them are lists of information, usually bullet-points like “use an organizer”, “keep your desk clean”, or “don’t take ‘Facebook breaks’ while you’re working!”.

So you try to use an organizer, keep your desk clean, and decide not to look at Facebook once every 2.8 minutes.

Do you know what happens next? It’s what happens to most people. You slowly forget…forget that you wanted to be more productive, and that you made these little promises to yourself about using an organizer.

And you’re back to where you started, except this time, you probably think you “can’t” become more productive.

Isn’t that what usually happens?

Why is that what usually happens?

People fail at change because of the way they try to change.

People simply misunderstand their actual problem. In the example above, it looks like the problem is that you just don’t “know” how to be productive.

Don’t know how to be productive? You didn’t know that using an organizer or actually cleaning your desk would increase productivity?

Of course you knew these things. And if you look up “productivity tips” on Google, you realize most of the pages are just that: telling you things you already knew.

If reading productivity tips was really the way to become productive, we’d all be pros at it about 4 articles into the 46 million on Google. But we’re not.

The actual problem is more sophisticated: you know how to be productive, but you don’t know how to make yourself do it.

But the answer to that is actually pretty easy:

The first step to changing what you do is to change the way you think. You do what you think. Your mindset inspires your actions!

In the past, you never tried to change the way you think: you tried to keep your old habits and ideas (laziness), and insert incompatible actions (trying to be productive)on top. Of course that’s not going to work.

But if you first thought, “wait a second, why is it that I have so much trouble using an organizer?”, you realize things like: “I get this emotional feeling that tells me it’s ‘too much trouble” or “it’s not any fun!”.

If you thought “organization is too important to pass up”, or “no matter what, I will be productive”, wouldn’t you naturally do the things needed to be productive?

So clearly, the right way to focus on change is to focus on your mindset before you focus on your specific action.

So how do you change your mindset?

The short answer: “The Top 3 Mindset Traits Required to Succeed at Anything” + mindset traits needed for your specific field + PRACTICE.

The Top 3 Mindset Traits Required to Succeed at Anything:

I picked these because they have been pervasive through all of the ventures I have been successful at:

1. Disinterested perspective. Not feeling like you “have” to be right about something, and being willing to jettison closely-held assumptions. You find it fun to be wrong because you learned something new.
2. Valuing success over comfortable failure.
3. Persistence; prioritizing long-term gain over short-term pain.

How you decide “these things are more valuable than thinking I’m right all of the time or laziness” is a personal decision. For me, I am inspired to write, start businesses, host a radio show, etc., because I want to spend my time only doing interesting things that I want to do, rather than have things forced upon me. Maybe for you, it’s the same; maybe it’s wanting to make more money so you can provide a better life for your family.

Mindset traits needed for your specific field.

For example: If my goal was to give a great speech, I could identify 3 specific mindsets necessary for giving a speech. I really think you could give a great speech (with practice) thinking about only these three things. Notice how they are different from “tips” that try to direct your actions:

1. Say only words that are value-added.
2. Think of speeches I’ve watched that were exceptional, and attempt to emulate them.
3. When my audience leaves, what are the 3 main points I want them to remember?

That would answer these questions that most people would try to use “tips” to solve:

1. Q: How long should my speech be?

a. A: Think about speeches you’ve watched by other great orators who have spoken on your topic. How long do they talk? What points do they emphasize?

2. Q: What should I talk about?

a. A: What are the three most important points you could make? What do I really want my audience to know when I get down from the podium?

3. Q: Should I include this example in my speech?

a. Does it add value to your speech? In other words, is your speech notably better because you included it?

PRACTICE = allow your mindset to become habit and overcome discomfort.

When I ran cross country in high school, I couldn’t run more than a mile at first. A couple months later, I could run 6 miles without stopping.

My original habit and mindset was to be lethargic and not exercise. Then, I changed my mindset to value persistence and athleticism. By practicing running, I not only got better at running, I also made it easy to develop and engrain my pro-running mindset.

Isn’t that really the same for everything? For anything you would want to do?

Conclusion

Success is a result of mindset, which naturally leads to the proper actions. Doing it the other way around leads to the all-too-common conclusion of failure, usually due to resignation (just giving up).

Luckily, our minds are one of the easiest things to change.

How to Live Vicariously Through Yourself

via Nerd Fitness by Steve on 4/19/12

The “Most Interesting Man in the World” is my hero.

You know, the guy from the Dos Equis commercials who “can speak French, in Russian” and “once had an awkward moment, just to see how it felt.”  You hear about all of the stuff he’s done and you can’t help but laugh while saying, “damn, that’s awesome.”

Now, obviously the Dos Equis Man is a fictional character (unfortunately), but he’s actually helped me come to a few realizations lately about behavior, habits, mentality, and success when it comes to leveling up your life.

Let’s see, last week it was underpants gnomes…this week it’s a fictional beer character….

What the hell am I talking about?

There’s one particular “Dos Equis Man” phrase that I want to draw your attention to today:

“He lives vicariously through himself.”

Whether you want to travel the world, become a parkour phenom, run a marathon, or start your own business, it’s time to start living vicariously through yourself.

Man, I wish I could do that!

We all do it.

We’ll hop on YouTube and see a guy breakdance like a maniac, attempt things only thought possible in the matrix, or even showcase ridiculous body weight exercises.  We read a feel-good story about somebody doing something awesome, or going somewhere awesome, or being something awesome, and we all say:

“Man, I wish I could do that!”

And then immediately we go back to whatever it is we were doing/eating/thinking without making a SINGLE change that would get us closer to doing it.  

Since putting out my exercise video on Monday (if you’re reading this on an iPhone, view here), I’ve heard “I wish I could do that” about a million times.  A quick visit to the YouTube comments reveals a few things – a lot of Canadians are pissed that I didn’t go north of the border, I’m huge in Romania, and everybody assumes I’m rich and “wishes [they] could do that.”

I guarantee that 99.5% of the people who say “man I wish I could do that” won’t spend five minutes actually figuring out what it would take and if it’s possible.  

I’m not rich.  Yes, Nerd Fitness is doing well, but I’m not breaking the bank, and money was incredibly tight during a majority of my trip.  I’m a normal dude – I’m shy (believe it or not), I’m a picky eater, and I’m pretty risk averse.  So how the Hell was I able to put a trip together like this?

Because I saw Matt do it 5 years ago; I watched that video and said “man, I wish I could that.”

And then I started putting systems and plans in place so that I COULD eventually do that!  Over the course of five years, I took tiny step after tiny step to take me closer to my goal.

And then one day, I did it.

Here’s how to start living vicariously through yourself.

It’s good to have heroes…

 We all have people we look up to.

It can be one person for a lot of things, or lots of people, each for a particular thing.  I have many friends that are my heroes for certain reasons, and bloggers, athletes that are my heroes for different reasons, and business owners who are my heroes for others.  I know some of my heroes; others I only know through their work or website.

Here are some of my heroes:

• Strength and Fitness – Beastskills.com and Vic Magary
• Diet/blogging – Mark from marksdailyapple.com
• Blogging – Glen from Viperchill and Corbett Barr
• Business – Richard Branson and Steve Jobs 
• Community Building – Brett from Art of Manliness and ManVsDebt
• Lifestyle design – Tim Ferriss
• Personal finance/business – Ramit Sethi
• Writing/travel – Chris Guillebeau
• Travel/video – Matt

Everybody from the list above is way better than me at their particular craft, and I can only hope some day to reach their level.  These are folks who usually make me say something like “damn that’s clever” or “wow I wish I could do that.”

But it’s important to be your own hero

With that being said…I think it’s important to remember that you can be your OWN hero too.

In other words, live vicariously through yourself!

[Note: this is really boring if you spend all of your time sitting on your butt doing nothing.]

So, in order to live vicariously through yourself, you need to start putting steps in place to eventually do stuff that makes you feel alive.

A lot of folks tell me they’re living vicariously through me and my adventures.  Although it’s kind of cool to hear that, it’s even better to hear from folks that say “Steve, you’ve inspired me to FINALLY go visit ________________ or do ______________, which I’ve been putting off for years.”

By putting yourself out there, allowing yourself to live these memories and experiences on your own, you get a lifetime to look back upon those days and say “Holy crap, I can’t believe I did that!”

So how does one go about living vicariously through oneself?

Step 1 – Determine the heroic action

First and foremost you need to decide if the “I wish I could do that” is something you REALLY want to do.

Although I would like to say that nothing is impossible, some things just aren’t in the cards.  The way I look at it is like this:

If I dedicate enough time, effort, and/or money to this goal, is this something I can eventually achieve?

• If it’s not, I shut my face and admire the talent for what it is.  I can admire gold medal Olympic gymnasts, but I know I’ll never step up on that podium so I don’t beat myself up for not spending 16 hours in a gym every day.
• If it IS something I can do and WANT to do, then I start telling myself that it’s possible and get to work.

Note: you’d be surprised what people will tell themselves is impossible – “I don’t have time, I don’t have the money, I don’t have __________.”  Well, if this is something you REALLY REALLY WANT, it’s amazing how those excuses start to disappear.  As my buddy Tyler will tell you, “nobody believes your excuses except for you.”

If you’re wondering if it’s is possible, it most likely is.

It might take five years; a decade; twenty years, and a lot of your money or time…but it is possible.  Start believing so.

Stage 2 – Turn the vague and distant into concrete and real

“I wish I could do that” is a nice, safe sentence.

There’s nothing concrete about it, there’s no time commitment, or financial amount tied to it.  It’s a vague statement you can say while watching YouTube, reading an article on Yahoo, or while changing TV.  It allows you to say “that’s awesome and impossible.  Okay back to normalcy!”

After step one, you’ve already told yourself that you believe you can actually do it…but as we’ve learned from my favorite movie, without action, hope is useless.  So it’s time to take that nebulous goal and turn it into something incredibly specific.  Every freaking detail.  Change it from “big and scary” into “well researched and demystified!”

• Want to do something epic like compete on Ninja Warrior or climb Mt Kilimanjaro?  Email somebody who’s DONE it and talk to them!  My friend Jim’s a normal dude and he did Kilimanjaro  Find out their level of fitness, how long they’ve been training, what they did to prepare, and so on.
• Want to run a marathon or triathlon?  Although I’m not a fan of long distance endurance, I know these are goals lots of people have but never actually get around to do it “because you’re busy.”  Pick one six months from now, and pay for it in advance.  All of a sudden “running a marathon” becomes “the marathon on October 16th.” Or, you can be like Mike and just say “I’m going to run one today.”
• Want to roadtrip cross country?  Google your route, pick out your cities, and calculate how much you’d be spending on gas.  Figure out the details!
• Want to go on a trip? Maybe it’s just a SINGLE country for a SPECIFIC event.  Visit the ruins of Machu Picchu; eat Pizza in Italy, practice Muay Thai in Thailand, surf in Hawaii, visit the world’s biggest ball of twine. Whatever.  Pick places, amounts, numbers, and dates to figure out what it would take to actually happen.
• Want to travel extensively?  Start reading books like Vagabonding, the travel section of  Four Hour Workweek and travel bloggers like Nomadic Matt and Gary Arndt. Determine EXACTLY which countries you want to go to, do the research on cost of living, and determine how much money you’ll need saved up or if you can work along the way.  Calculate plane ticket costs, costs of insurance, average cost of meals in those countries, etc.  Figure out how much you’ll need each month to survive!

Step 3 – break down your goal into steps

Once you have your specific goal laid out, it’s time to break that goal into bite-sized pieces.

If you want to learn a skill that will make you say, “Holy crap I did it!” what can you get started with?  First steps might include finding people who can already do it and interviewing them, or signing up for a class, or buying a beginner’s DVD.  Ask people who are have had success how long it took them to “get there” and compare your starting point to theirs.  Set your expectations appropriately, but be aggressive with what you’re capable of!

If you want to take a trip, how can you start planning?  After you’ve figured out how much it will cost to fund the trip, determine how long it will take you to save up that money – it might be a few months or a few years.  How can you save more money and how can you earn more money?  Sign up for a free savings account with ING.com or another online bank and create a special savings account for JUST that trip that auto-debits from your checking account the day you get paid.  I use ING and have 6 different “buckets” for various things I’m saving for that auto-pull from my checking account each month.

If you want to book an expensive trip, can you travel hack your way through it?  I travel hacked my way into the Monte Carlo and around the world - you’d be surprised what you can accomplish if you take the time to learn the system.  Start reading ThePointsGuy and One Mile at a Time religiously, and become a regular on Flyer Talk.  If you’re looking for a paid program that packages the basics neatly, check out Chris Guillebeau’s Frequent Flyer Master (it’s how I got started), but if you want to put the time in, you can certainly learn how to get started for free.

Like with any skill acquisition, it’s possible to reach your goals by doing a tiny bit of it and getting a little bit better.

Essentially leveling up your life, one decision at a time.

Step 4 – Put on your hard hat and go to work

An expression I love to use whenever working towards a goal, is “Puttin’ on my hard hat!”

[Coincidentally, this is the same expression I use when getting ready to roll at a craps table in Vegas.]

Saying this out loud puts me in the mentality that I’m “going to work” on something epic that will require hard work, persistence, and some luck.

If your goal is something epic, it will most likely take months/years of planning to make it happen.  What’s important is to realize that by doing one thing every day, no matter how small, it puts you ONE step closer towards your goal.

One thing.

Start today by doing one thing.  And then when you wake up tomorrow, do one more thing.  Repeat this process until you achieve your desired result/action/location/goal.

Live vicariously through yourself

When was the last time you said  ”I wish I could do that?”…and what did you do about it?

I want to help you live vicariously through yourself.

A new skill, a new trip, a new adventure, whatever it takes to help you feel ALIVE.

What something you’ve always wanted to do, and what’s one step you’re going to take TODAY to make it happen?

How can I help?

-Steve

Today’s Rebel Hero: Alastair from Melbourne! 

Alastair started climbing in his NF t-shirt, and accidentally pulled down the ENTIRE wall due to his freakish strength  Fortunately, he was strong enough to hold the wall up long enough for everybody to get out of the way – what a nice guy.  After that he saved a litter of orphaned puppies from a burning building while also solving the US’s budget crisis.  Now, I’m not saying that this shirt will make you way stronger and smarter, but it will.

Have a cool photo of you in a NF hoodies, t-shirts, or tank top?  Please send it in to contact@nerdfitness.com so we can get you up here on the blog!

PS - By the time you read this, I’ll most likely be on a bus to Guayaquil, where I’ll catch a flight tonight to Miami and then onward to Atlanta for my talk at TEDxEmory this weekend.  I lead off the early afternoon session, and will probably hang around for a few hours after.  Make sure you come say hey after the talk…love meeting up with rebels!

###

photo source: lego superheroes, one-handed handstand, super hero kids, easter island photos, lego hard hat, staircase, beer

Dump Your Worst Employees

via Inc.com by Paul Spiegelman on 4/11/12

Say goodbye to the whiners, losers, and jerks. Four reasons why leaders struggle to let go of the wrong employees--but shouldn't.

Raise your hand if you have people in your company that fit into this category. I'd bet all hands are up; mine is. Yes, even in a company that has a fun, energetic culture and has won numerous awards as a great place to work, there are still people who don't get it or don't want to believe in how we roll.

We genuinely care about our employees in the totality of their lives. We're very upfront that our company exists to enhance the lives of the people who work here. As part of the health care industry, we are also blessed to be able to make the world a better place by connecting people to health care for themselves and their loved ones. We strive to be good people doing good things and we have fun doing it.

But when it comes to attitude, this is the one area in which we are unapologetic. We make it clear to our employees that we have no tolerance for negative people. I've stood up in our "town hall" meetings to say that we are on a mission, and if you don't believe, we don't want you here. If you stay and make life miserable for others, we will seek you out, hunt you down, and make you uncomfortable. Typically folks that don't fit our culture either self-select out or get weeded out. But we don't get it right every time, and still face our struggles when it comes to bad attitudes.

So here are four reasons you may be held back as you try to make your company whiner-free, but shouldn't be:

1. They're good workers.

Sometimes these people are actually very good at their jobs. They're productive and help improve the bottom line. But the collateral damage they have on our culture is much more important. If we can't get rid of skilled workers who are a bad culture fit, we're not being responsible leaders.

2. HR is in the way.

I hear this one all the time. "My HR department makes the process too hard and too long." Look, most of us work in "right to work" states where we can show someone out of the company for any reason. And most of us have guidelines for discipline and its related documentation. Follow the rules and you and your culture will be protected—quickly.

3. You're not inspired.

It is just so easy to procrastinate. Yes, firing people is one of the hardest parts of our jobs. But just think about how the rest of your employees are watching how you handle this. When you finally do it, they're most likely whispering, "What took you so long?"

4. You don't take responsibility.

The first reaction is to blame these individuals for their attitudes and troublemaking. But don't forget that you hired them. Look in the mirror and evaluate your screening processes so you can avoid this situation in the future.

Here's the bottom line. If you know in your gut that someone will not be part of your team for the long run, you owe it to them to act, and act now. Just like you, she has a family and her own hopes and dreams. She may not have been a winner in your culture, but that doesn't mean there isn't a place she can succeed. Once you make the move, everyone is on the path to something better.

Are You Truly Indispensable At Work--Or Just Fooling Yourself?

via Fast Company by Mark Samuel on 4/12/12

Committing to make yourself indispensable is one of the most important steps you will take toward being successful and living a fulfilling life. Making yourself indispensable is not about position, power, or ego. It is about taking charge, overcoming obstacles, and achieving your dreams at work, at home, and in your life. Making yourself indispensable is made up of six key spokes: being purpose driven, playing big, being adaptable, being we centered, being priority focused, and valuing others. Ultimately, making yourself indispensable is about committing to a bigger purpose than yourself and making a meaningful difference to your organization, your team, your family, and your community. Making yourself indispensable is for everyone, regardless of your position, role, or lot in life. Today’s business environment doesn’t allow for satisfaction with the status quo. It requires constant growth and change. Being indispensable means that you are adaptable, learning and growing with your organization as it changes and evolves. You remain valuable to your organization, to your team, and to the important people in your life. If you aren’t changing with your organization, in essence you are becoming obsolete. So at the end of the day, you are either working to make yourself indispensable or working to make yourself obsolete. Have you ever known someone who acted indispensable when they weren’t? Some do this in the form of loud “notice me” or “bow down to me” behavior or in the form of quietly expecting others to give them everything without having to work for anything. In either case, these people don’t give as much as they take, which is the ultimate demise of true indispensability. They are annoying at best and destructive at worst. Let’s explore the makeup of those faking their way to feeling indispensable so that we make sure to avoid this initial trap on the path to being truly indispensable. Using power and force to make yourself indispensable is popular with people who have strong egos, financial wealth, or positional power. They make themselves indispensable by keeping others unsafe, generally through threat. If they have an aggressive nature, they will yell at others or even use physical force and fear to make people do what they want. In a beverage manufacturing plant in Canada that hired me to build the management team, one manager would yell at his direct reports so loudly when they made a mistake that it could be heard throughout the plant, causing humiliation and embarrassment for his team. They worked in fear of their manager until they banded together and rebelled. In our personal lives, our spouses and children can feel the same fear when our approach to communication involves emotional or physical mistreatment. The result is hurt feelings, shame, and sometimes abuse. To act indispensable, some people and organizations use their financial advantage to evoke fear by threatening to take away people’s livelihood--whether a job, a home, or the ability to get a loan. Finally, using positional power is one of the most common means of faking indispensability and is most prevalent in the workplace. Employees witness fake indispensability when managers micromanage, dismiss their ideas, or worse, take credit for the solutions implemented by their team. The second way people create “fake indispensability” is through entitlement. It arises from overprotective parents who never want their children to feel bad about themselves, an education system that doesn’t push its students to excel or gives everyone a passing grade regardless of their test score, or a group that encourages people to feel entitled by. People with an entitled attitude believe they are indispensable based on their mere existence. As long as they are breathing and taking up space at work, they should be paid--even when they aren’t producing results. And worse, if they ever start breathing hard (even without satisfactory results), they expect a bonus. Thinking we are the best when we are not is the surest and quickest path to dispensability. No matter how smart you are, how physically strong you are, what religion, race, or creed you come from, what your financial status is, what abilities and talents you possess, or what positional power you have over others, you are not indispensable unless you use your gifts and principles in service to other people’s success, improvement, or survival.

Adapted from Making Yourself Indispensable: The Power of PersonalAccountability by Mark Samuel, by arrangement with Portfolio / Penguin,Copyright (c) Mark Samuel, 2012.

[Image: Flickr user Tapio Kaisla]

Building Effective Teams Isn't Rocket Science, But It's Just as Hard

via HBR.org by Douglas R. Conant on 4/4/12

Over my 35 years of experience in the corporate and non-profit worlds, I've been part of hundreds, if not thousands, of teams of all shapes and sizes: large, small, formal, informal, "real", "virtual" — and the list goes on. I've also led some of these teams as a Fortune 300 CEO, and I've been at the bottom of the ladder as a marketing assistant at the start of my career. Consistently building high performance teams is a challenging and complex undertaking — not unlike my layman's understanding of rocket science. That having been said, in my experience, there are four key guiding thoughts that can materially improve your odds of success:

1. Hire Highly Effective Team Members. The time to think about building a highly-effective team is when you recruit people into the organization in the first place. I look for the 4 C's: competence, character, courage, and collaboration. The best contributors that I have recruited over the years know what they are doing (have competence), do what they say they are going to do (display character), meet challenges head-on (have the courage of their convictions) and delight in working with others for the good of the enterprise (are spirited collaborators). In my opinion, all of these attributes can and should be vetted during the interview process — way before a team assignment is even contemplated. When team members consistently display these four traits, my experience is that you have begun to lay the foundation for creating a high-performance environment.

2. Focus on Inspiring Trust. Once you've recruited a talented team of people, I believe that the single most important challenge is to create a high-trust environment. As Stephen M.R. Covey says in his book, The Speed of Trust, it is the one thing that changes everything. If you promote a high-trust environment where you have capable people who do what they say they are going to do, in my experience, anything is possible. If there is not a high-trust environment in place, virtually everything, including the most mundane activities, can feel like an ordeal for the group and impede progress. Over time, I have found that trust, based on competence and character, trumps all other attributes.

3. Encourage Candor. Once you have talented people operating in a high-trust environment, a spirit of candor is essential to advancing the agenda. It is important that the team acknowledges mistakes and celebrates progress in a timely way. The path forward for every team is always forged around a series of course corrections based on what is working and what is not working. Candid and timely conversation is essential to shaping that path forward.

4. Be Clear About Expectations. I have found that the greater the clarity of the mission, the greater the odds of success. Individual team members and the teams themselves simply must know what is expected of them, in as granular a way as is practical, in order to meet or exceed those expectations.

Bottom line, I believe if you fully leverage these four guiding thoughts, you may not build the next-generation space shuttle, but you will most assuredly see your teams soar to new heights.

This post is part of the HBR Insight Center on The Secrets of Great Teams.

The 7 Deadly Sins of Change

via The Change Blog by Jake O’Callahan on 4/6/12

Photo by the half-blood prince

By Jake O’Callahan

I have learned a lot over the past few years about making changes. But nothing taught me more than the things I did wrong – the sins of change.

These 7 deadly sins will prevent  you from making changes. Avoid them, and you have a much better chance of success.

1. Changing fast

I see people who attempt to change fast all the time. They’re at the gym, smiling at me with their naive, toothy grin. “I’m going to start coming here every day,” they say.

Sadly, I know this isn’t the case. I usually see them the next day, then in a few days, then not at all.

Why is this? Is it from lack of motivation or lack of discipline? I don’t think so. It’s because they change too fast.

I see them dripping with sweat after their run on the treadmill – huffing and puffing like they’re about to pass out. It must be painful to push yourself that much. And this pain is remembered the next day. This pain makes them quit.

What if they went slow? Instead of pushing themselves, they stopped at a reasonable time. Then they slowly increased their time working out.

Going to the gym would be a much better experience. They would be more motivated to go to the gym regularly.

I have discovered that changing fast, rather than slow is the most deadly sin of change. By going slow, you don’t get burned out. You can make your change a habit, rather than a fling.

2. Being inflexible

Planning was an old friend of mine when it came to making changes. I would plan every aspect of how I would tackle my change, and would log my progress.

I would make specific goals, create specific steps to achieve them, and plan a reasonable time frame.

Most people would applaud this philosophy. It seems to make sense because humans want the illusion of control, and we are told that planning is incredibly important. “Fail to plan, prepare to fail,” is the old adage.

However, I have found that planning hurts change. Planning makes you inflexible, and inflexibility harms change.

Consider when I made my varsity soccer team at school. To accomplish this, I had to improve (thus change) my abilities as a player. I created a long, step-by-step plan to achieving my goal.

But I ended up straying from the plan. I learned that I would get better results from focusing on specific skills, rather than the whole package. I trained with my friends (instead of on my own) and played pick-up games. The things that went against my plan helped me the most.

If I would have strictly followed my plan, I would have missed out on valuable opportunities.

I have found this over and over again.

Inflexibility harms change, flexibility helps you change. You don’t have to give up planning altogether (though I have), but understand that your plans will and have to change. You need to be flexible to change.

3. Tackling multiple changes at once

Some people come to my blog, SlowChange, and email me saying they are excited about changing their life. They list multiple changes they want to start implementing right away.

Slow down. It’s tempting to make multiple changes at once, but it greatly increases your change of failing.

When you focus on one change, you can distribute all your energy to it. But when you focus on multiple changes, your energy on each is reduced.

So focus on one change till it becomes a habit. Then move onto the next one.

4. Spectating

This sin is incredibly common and deadly. I know because I’ve struggled with it my whole life.

Spectating – watching instead of doing.

I’ve done it so many times: I want to make a change, so I read about it. I go on the Internet and ask questions about it. I think about it, I talk about it. I do everything except act.

It’s easy to get caught up in spectating because it’s easy and enjoyable. And it’s not all bad; spectating can help you learn and improve.

But nothing will get done unless you do something. So act.

Want to become a  runner?  Get out the door right now and start running. You can read about it after you’ve finished your run.

5. Rewarding yourself

Common advice tells you to reward yourself after doing a positive activity. So If you want to develop the habit of reading, you reward yourself with a chocolate bar everytime you read 50 pages.

It makes sense right? If you are reinforced, you want to do the activity more (thus forming the habit). However, I have discovered that rewards only hinder change.

Let’s go with a typical example. A woman wants to get in shape, so she starts working out in the gym. She hates the gym, but rewards herself with a massage every time she goes to the gym.

As the days pass, she hates the gym more and more (this is what happens when you force yourself to do something you don’t like). Eventually, she gives in and quits. She realizes that she can give herself a massage without going to the gym, and even if she feels guilty and doesn’t get the massage, she still feels better than going to the gym.

I see this scenario happen over and over again. And it happened to me. A lot.

To create lasting change, you need to be intrinsically motivated. If you don’t enjoy the activity, if the activity isn’t its own reward, then you won’t do it. You will quit over and over again.

So figure out how to enjoy the activity. Focus on the workout and the pleasure you feel when you are there. Go slowly, don’t push yourself or cause yourself pain.

If you truly hate something, devise a different way to change. Instead of the gym, try playing sports, playing with kids, or simply walking outside.

To make something a habit, the change must be it’s on reward. Or you will fail.

6. Worrying about results

We tend to overestimate how fast we can achieve results. This isn’t surprising considering we are told we can lose 7 pounds in 7 days, become fluent in a language in a month, and achieve 6-pack abs in two weeks.

When these crazy results don’t come, we often get frustrated. We become dissatisfied and throw in the towel. This has happened to me countless times.

I definitely understand that you want results in the short-term. But the results that truly matter are long-term.

We tend to overestimate short-term results but underestimate long-term benefits. So, if you keep plugging away you will get great results. I promise.

Making changes should be fun.  The joy of making a great change, should be enough for the short-term. Don’t let a lust for short-term results interfere with great long-term benefits.

7. Changing because of insecurity

Changing your life for the better is an awesome thing. It has completely turned my life around: I have went from depressed and confused to happy and fulfilled with just a few simple changes.

But some people change themselves not to live a more meaningful life, but because of insecurity. Changing yourself is a multi-million (heck probably billion) dollar industry that leeches off the insecure.

I want you to keep this in mind: you are not changing because you are somehow inadequate. You are changing simply to improve the quality of your life. To become a healthier, more compassionate person.

The Art Of The Hustler

via Caveman Circus by admin on 3/28/12

There is a fundamental disconnect between the way most people see a hustler and what a hustler sees when she or he looks in the mirror. On a bad day, a hustler sees themselves as someone who needs to improve drastically. On a good day, a hustler sees themselves as someone who could have done something different to improve their hustle. The consistency is the fact that a hustler always strives to be better.

The Art of a Hustler is not simple. In fact, it’s quite complex and the combination of a variety of different attributes are what truly make a hustler in the modern sense of the word an outstanding professional and the key to many organizations success and growth. 

The first piece to recognize is that there is key difference between wanting to be a hustler and becoming a hustler. This is an issue sweeping North America as young professionals are sitting back watching others live life to the fullest without making the steps to achieve a lifestyle that they truly want. Many of these individuals have amazing and inspirational aspirations but that’s all they have. They don’t have the results or the resume to support the fact that they are actually out there chasing these ambitious goals.

As a result of having unfulfilled goals – These people find themselves in a depressing and an often anxious state. From here, they begin to make excuses on why they are unable to achieve the goals and dreams that they truly want. A true hustler however, doesn’t make excuses. They show up. And by showing up I mean they make the effort and put in the hours to get closer to achieving the life of their dreams. As Abraham Lincoln said,

Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.

The combination of aspirations and ambition is truly the fuel that drives a Hustler. A hustler has a vision (although often blurry) of what they want their legacy to look like when they leave this world. In this scene from the movie, Pursuit of Happiness we find a father providing his son with hustler-esque advice regarding ambition and aspirations:

Hustlers also strive to achieve excellence in the following areas:

Value Hardwork
The opposite of a hustler is someone who doesn’t give their 100%. Unconsciously these people don’t put in 100% because if they fail their talent can be questioned. However, by putting in 80% and failing they can look at those around them and say: “If I would have worked harder, I would have succeeded.” This is not the mentality of a hustler.

A hustler takes personal responsibility for failure more often than they will take responsibility for success. A hustler puts in the blood, sweat and tears with one intent – success. They don’t see failure as an option and will do all they can to achieve their goals. This determination is the driving factor behind their obsession with working hard. A hustler strives to perfect their craft daily and doesn’t flinch when someone tells them their idea is crazy. 

An example of the hustler mentality when it comes to hard work can be seen in NFL Linebacker Ray Lewis:

Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath -Michael Caine

Understand Smartwork
A Hustler is not a mule. (See: What is a “mule” in a start-up company?) A hustler believes and recognizes that they have a core advantage over any one else. This advantage is not in their ability to work hard but instead in their ability work smarter. For years, there have been books published and seminars given promoting different methods to persuade and influence people. A common suggestion found in these recommendations includes the idea of “Make 500 sales calls and sell 5 of product X”. Meaning, if you’re willing to work harder than everyone else you’ll have a slight advantage. And by slight, they mean one additional sale. What these guys are missing is something called Smartwork..

Smartwork is the ability to understand the dynamics of a conversation. It’s all about frame control and understanding the cues that people give off unconsciously that provide you with an opportunity to control the frame. A Hustler is a lifelong student of Social Dynamics and Negotiation. They enjoy the company of people but enjoy analyzing their interactions so they can become a better communicator.

Hustlers need to understand how to sell everything from a product to an idea.  Joseph Hsieh discloses a variety of ways in his answer that would benefit you in negotiations. Here are a few things I’d add:

• Never Back Track Yourself
• Listen Attentively & Show it
• Leave Arguments for the Playground
• Don’t Bluff – This isn’t Poker
• When all else fails – “Give’em an offer they can’t refuse”
• Be Upfront and Be Blunt.

Love your Hustle
If you are honestly not obsessed with your hustle then you will not achieve hustler status. A hustler loves the product or service they are offering and believes that it is solving an issue for those around them. At the end of the day, to do something well you need to enjoy doing it. Hustlers have found what they enjoy doing and wake up every morning excited to get closer to fulfilling their aspirations and goals.

NOTE: The definition of hustle can be defined in two different ways. The first, is in the traditional sense where it’s someone who works hard for what 
they do in a legitimate way and the other is one who works hard yet 
makes profit by taking advantage of others weaknesses.

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